It has been a week now, I think, since I woke up to the news
of Oscar Pistorius shooting his girlfriend. I had told “A” as soon as I could
and he was quick to disassociate himself with Oscar. Actually the communication
went like this;
Me - Your Pestorio or whatever his name is, is in the news
for the murder of his girlfriend.
A - Indeed - we've been hearing that all morning... He's
South Africa's guy, not 'our's' - we were all too happy to hold him up as a
hero until today. Sad though about his gfriend...
Me - Ah! now that he has a 'criminal' tinge to him he is
south african, but it was ok to boast about him before now, as though he was
yours? what changed?
A - He's represented South Africa in the Olympics...
Me - I know that
A - so he was never 'ours' we just held him up as a great
example of an amputee who did well... lol
Me - whatever.....
The story was news worthy in the sense that it made
absolutely no sense at all. ‘Why would a high profiled person at the top of his
game with a rather bright future ahead of him do this to himself?’ was what I
kept asking myself.
I went on facebook and an idiot had already written a
feature on the case with his own conclusion that Pistorius’ girlfriend had
brought it on herself and the base of his argument was that she was rather good
looking. I surfed the internet, just like I believe countless others did, to
get more info about what really happened.
If it wasn’t for “A” I probably would never have known who
Pistorius was, I am one of those boring few that have below zero interest in
sports, and since I have stopped watching TV for the past two years now, I probably would still be ignorant. But “A” spoke of him often enough; he sort of
put him on a pedestal for being a good example of what greatness one can
achieve if one doesn’t let ‘handicap’ be our handicap.
Slowly, the news started to come in. First it was that the
shooting was as a result of assumption of an intruder, then that the murder was
premeditated because of a fight that had ensued between the couple. Two ex-girlfriends
had conflicting accounts, one painted him a gentleman, the other painted him an
abuser. Someone insinuated Steenkamp was in a past abusive relationship as
though to show that she was drawn to abusers. There was even an interesting
feature by a south African journalist that talked about the Oscar no one hears
about – an Oscar with a ‘dark side’.
Still I didn’t get the sense that these
assumptions were made with a 100% certainty of claims; I got the impression
people felt the need to take sides and to do so fast.
Anger and judgment started to stream in from all directions,
mostly from people that didn’t know the couple personally nor had enough info
to serve a verdict. The bulk of what I came across said he was guilty and
should pay. And I had asked myself, guilty of what exactly? I mean it was
obvious from the moment the news came out that he shot her, that much we all
gathered. So was he guilty of shooting her? No doubt.
When more info came
through, there was his admission of having intentionally fired the shots, so
yes, in that sense he is guilty. Was it
premeditated as the prosecutors are trying to claim or was it instinctive as
his family (and his statement of the incident) is claiming? We all will have to
follow the case to decide that based on evidence/arguments etc. Should he pay?
How can we quantify payment for a person’s life?
The more I hear/read about the case the more I grasped what
Christ said at the stoning of the adulterous women “He who has no sin should
cast the first stone”. Now before anyone is quick to condemn me for the
audacity, what I simply mean is that besides the people that are directly
involved in this (Oscar Pistorius/his family and Reeva’s family) none of us
have the right to pass judgments based on our sentiments alone. The news is still too
fresh and there are too many conflicting facts for anyone to really know what
really happened or what intentions really were. What we are dealing with right
now are assumptions, two faced facts and emotions.
I have no personal interest whatsoever in this case. If the
court decides to send Pistorius to prison, my life will not get any better or
any worse in anyway by that. Neither will it be if they let him go. I look at
photos of him that have popped up since the news, and I see a boy - a very
frightened boy. I have asked a countless
times.
·
How can a person as famous as he is, with the
sort of fear of intruders he claimed to have, had not have thought of
installing a security system that can alert you if there is an intruder on your
grounds?
·
What went on in his head all these time that he
has had guns about him, waiting for that intruder? That he would shoot and
hopefully life will go on?
·
Didn’t he or any of the people he surrounded
himself with see it fit to talk about the implications of owning a gun? IT
KILLS!! I will assume he knew that already…..
This is
not an attack in anyway on Pistorius or on anyone that feels the need to own a
gun for self-protection. Being at the offending end of a tragedy, one would want to ask all the difficult questions first and I can only imagine he and/or his friends and family already have and are still asking, albeit they being his support right now and he needs all the support he can get too.
If this shooting is indeed a fatal accident as
claimed, only goodness knows what hell he is going through right now, being
responsible for the death of someone he is supposed to love. No ‘what ifs’ will
erase what has happened. No regrets will bring Reeva back, no prison verdict,
or pardon for accidental shooting will heal the pain everyone is feeling right
now……on the other hand, I know first-hand what it feels like losing someone
that you are close to and think they deserve to live many more years NOTHING
can justify their death no matter how logical.
I can’t even begin to imagine though what Reeva’s family is
going through right. She is gone and nothing we say or do can bring her back.
Not even condemning Pistorius to prison or whatever it is the self-appointed
judges out there will think a justified ‘pay back’ for this tragedy should be.
I can say for certain if Reeva was my child or my sister or someone closely
related to me, NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER will be good enough FOR ME, to accept
this tragedy and let it rest, and NO PUNISHMENT will take care of the pain.
However
I am not going to condemned Pistorius. I do not and cannot pretend I understand
the sort of fear that makes one act first then repent at leisure. THIS TRAGEDY,
TO ME IS A SENSELESS ACT. Yet if I was his friend or family, I would want some sort of grace bestowed, no matter how small. The argument would be two wrongs won't make a right. Although the opposing camp will dispute punishing him, a wrong. Whether this was premeditated or instinctive, it is
obvious that the frightened boy inside this man is aware of what has happened, whether or not he understands the implications.
I watched a small clip of Reeva’s speech on the reality show she participated
in, in Jamaica, it was a very brief clip, but it was enough for me to decide
that I find her likeable. I can see why
people that have known her (even if only through the media and not up close and
personal) would want Pistorius to pay for her life.
The saddest thing is a society that is so violent with so
little respect for life that one would feel the need to be armed for self-protection,
knowing fully well your self-protection is someone’s death. I am not an advocate for gun ownership; I am
yet to hear an argument about why gun ownership should be protected. But I don’t
live in a society where there is that level of fear of violence that a need for
a gun is as strong, so I cannot pretend or even claim comprehending what it
feels like to be crippled with the sort of terror of intruders that would merit
wanting/having a gun.
If this had happened in the USA, I suppose it would be a
strong argument for those that are against the right to gun ownership – the perfect
example of what can go wrong with that sort of self-protection – that is
assuming of course Pistorius acted on instinct based on fear of an intruder as
claimed.
While the rest of the world are divided, for or against Pistorius
for this tragedy, one thing is certain, his life, and the life of Reeva’s family is forever changed by all of this. It
is indeed a tragedy and a very painful one whichever way you see it, regardless
of whose side you take.
I won’t sit here and pretend that some good will come out of
this, but I can hope, and I do sincerely hope that one way or another something
positive will emerge from this tragedy for the memory of Reeva Steenkamp and
that all the people that are hurting right now (including Pistorius, if he is),
because of this tragedy, will eventually come to a place of peace where the
pain numbs into sweet memories of who she was to them and how she had touched
their lives.
REST IN PEACE REEVA STEENKAMP.
